We’re not going to lie, the phrase ‘healing journey’ can sound so cliché, especially these days when self-care and wellness are two of the trendiest movements around. The words are easy to throw around, but achieving true healing can be much more difficult to achieve. The journey to healing requires doing some tough inner work and a level of patience and endurance that you don’t often hear about in viral posts on social media. It’s serious business and many people find themselves ill equipped to handle the process.
It may not be for the faint of heart, but once you set your intentions, the decision to begin your healing journey becomes fueled by your decision to move forward and to stop allowing the pains from your past to be unwanted passengers as you step into your future. On the season finale of The Suga, Tika and Thai sit down for a heart to heart with wellness consultant and author of After the Rain, Alex Elle to talk about healing, self-love, and self-care. Alex drops amazing gems that gives us all the permission we need to heal ourselves freely and fully.
“No one is giving us permission to just show up and name what we need without it being like ‘Well why do you need that?’ Well no, I need this because I need it and I don’t owe anybody an explanation for why or how. So it’s permission. As we heal ourselves we give other people permission to heal themselves, and I think that is sacred soul work through and through.”
If you’re ready to do the work and begin your own healing journey, here are five lessons from Alex Elle that will help you heal and encourage you to cherish life.
Everyone Won’t Be Ready to Heal With You
One of the things we don’t name when we speak about healing is the fact that in order to heal you often have to leave people, sometimes people you love dearly, behind. It can fill you with immense guilt and have you questioning if you’re doing something wrong by continuing to heal when there are people around you who have not yet (or will never) started their own healing journey. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings, but also to recognize that everyone around you will not be ready to heal in the exact same moment and in the exact same way as you – and that’s okay. Free yourself by releasing the guilt and the feeling that you have to bring them along.
You Are Worthy
Even in the midst of healing work it is not unusual to be plagued with thoughts and feelings of unworthiness. Whether it’s because of past traumas, missteps or guilt, these negative thoughts can pop up and sabotage all the good progress you’ve made on your journey. Please know that no matter what you deserve to be loved, you deserve forgiveness and you deserve to heal. We are not our mistakes or our past and the healing work we’re doing isn’t meant to make us perfect, but better so that we can live our best lives.
Learn this and relearn this every single day. You are human and allowed to have flaws and pain. You’ll never truly heal if you’re constantly hindering your journey with harmful self-criticism and guilt. Day to day life, with all its twists and turns, is enough to deal with. Allow yourself some grace and forgive yourself for any pain or behavior you might have caused yourself or others before you recognized the need for healing.
Understand the Beauty in Letting Go
By now you’ve probably heard the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason and a season.’ Essentially that means that some people come into our lives only to teach us something or help us through a rough time and once that moment has passed, it’s time for that person to leave our life. Now this doesn’t mean this person wasn’t positive or that we don’t appreciate them, just that their purpose was served and now it’s time for us both to move on in the direction of our purpose. The beauty in letting go is that we get to carry the lessons learned and memories with us as we grow and use them as a reminder to stay the course.
Take Care of You
This may sound like a broken message, particularly in the wellness and healing space, but taking care of yourself as you’re on your journey is crucial. You can’t take care of anyone else until you learn to take care of yourself first. Setting aside real time to care of your mind, your body and your soul is such an important part of the healing process. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you are being selfish during this time. Be kinder to yourself and take all the time you need to heal and grow.
We love Alex Elle! Listen to a heart-to-heart with the Author and Wellness Consultant consultant from this episode of The Suga. We’re talking all about healing, self-love, and self-care. While we take a brief break, write us with any questions, guests, or topics you want us to cover next season: firstname.lastname@example.org