The excitement of a new relationship is simply exhilarating. The getting all fierce for the first date, the conversations that waft naturally into the early mornings, the sweet touch, and care of your partner’s kindness, and consideration. The feels are all there, it’s growing organically and the relationship is graduating on emotional and mental levels.
It seems that by day 7 you start whimsically envisioning this person in your life long-term. How do you sift through the joys of how you flow together, while wanting to ask those real-life questions that you really need to know? Nina Westbrook, licensed marriage and family therapist (and entrepreneur, get your mini onboard her Little Ark now!) shares three guiding “obserquestions” to ponder. They can illuminate a pathway to the insight you need to listen for and pay attention to. To honestly assess if that power couple feeling is the real deal that can grow from partner status into the heavyweight ranks of parenthood.
Our Expert, Nina Westbrook, Entrepreneur, + Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Is your partner open and receptive?
New relationships can be tricky to navigate, and it can be scary to bring up important topics like whether or not your partner wants to have children. Open, honest conversation is crucial and it’s one of the most accurate ways to gauge how your partner feels about parenthood. What’s their reaction once you bring up real-world topics?
Is your partner attentive and adaptive?
If your partner is able to cope and adjust to new situations without much resistance, this might suggest a graceful entry into parenthood. An attentive parent will be more likely to quickly recognize someone’s needs and an adaptable parent will find ways to meet those needs regardless of the curveball they’ve just been thrown.
Is your partner comfortable with compromise?
In a new relationship, watch how your partner responds when asked to compromise or sacrifice something they really care about. Parenting requires compromise and having a partner who can see the big picture means you can work together to carve out time for the things you both care about.